Super Bowl XLVII: Seola’s Big Game List Including 7 Best and WTF Superbowl Commercials

Super Bowl XLVII - Baltimore Ravens vs San Francisco 49ers - February 2013

As a result of being one of the few annual events to achieve such wide viewership, many high-profile television commercials are broadcasted during the game, often coming from major brands. Such as Budweiser, who annually airs spots during the Super Bowl; with notable campaigns such as the Bud Bowl and the Clydesdales. and smaller or lesser-known brands seeking the exposure that can be obtained through Super Bowl advertising. However, this amount of prominence has also carried a super high price. This past Super Bowl XLVII that was on February 3, had an average cost of a 30-second advertisement set around $4 million dollars. Yes, you all heard me right. What a Super Bowl XLVII! Awesome game, awesome jokes on Twitter when the lights went out (mine – “Can we somehow blame this on Bush too?”) and it came to the wire. It was great, but was fairly disappointing when it came to ads. The one dang time a year I don’t fast-forward through commercials. You’ve undoubtedly seen lots of lists already but frankly, I’m shocked by them and wondering if these places were paid to put them up that way. I couldn’t even get more than 10 so taking the list I liked, I just had to organize. So without further adieu, here’s MY lists…

Dishonorable Mentions

Number 3: *bangs head* Yip, yip, yap, yap. That Samsung Mobile USA commercial went on way, WAY too long. Plus it’s too soon after Pepsi’s “Next” Big Thing campaign to be using this type of reference again. I associate that phrase with Pepsi right now. I seriously thought a combined promo was coming. I have to wonder, how did this make “best” lists? Because there was some sorta witty-ish comments that I guarantee has already been said on Twitter by “regular” folks before.

Number 2: Oh come on. This made a lot of “best” lists. ANOTHER one? I didn’t even know there was a 4th or 5th. I get the sex appeal of Vin Diesel and all, but this is starting to get into Jason territory.  $100 says the next one is Fast and Furious on Mars – Race of the Rovers. I’m pretty sure you get what I mean. Its played out.

Number 1: WTF GoDaddy? Did Danica Patrick really sign on for this disgusting shit? For one, it makes GoDaddy look horrifically dated and basic. We’ve done the nerd thing. Big Bang Theory has been on TV for.. what 7 seasons now? The horrible chemistry and body language by Bar Rafaeli made it look like GoDaddy had two departments that couldn’t stand each other and they couldn’t help but copy a Penny/Leonard relationship. The close up slurping followed the theme of many commercials this year that is also dated by now, juvenile sex jokes.

Knocked Up came out in 2007. It’s 2013 people. Can’t we go back to real comedies instead of a string of really lame stereotype sex jokes? I mean damn Movie 43 to me looks awful and apparently, Rotten Tomatoes thinks so too. It was a big mashup of juvenile sex jokes with famous people. It’s got a 3% Tomato rating. Even in the audience category… 36%. I’m pretty sure that’s an indicator we are sick and tired of it. I get that will draw some people because Adam Sandler has done the same movie for the last 4-5 years and he is 45 and somehow he still gets paid but this commercial wasn’t even funny. In 2008, maybe. 2013 – give us chic geek.

Given the reaction of most people on Twitter – I think they saw it the way I did… “WTF? Lame.”  I know, they say all press is good press but GoDaddy needed to move on from the sex kitten “See what happens next” schtick but this was just a really bad way to go and if you choose to see it that way… it was pretty insulting.

The “I Don’t Get It” category

Number 4: Audi gets my first WTF? I started thinking this was funny, then I thought about it. So you get the keys to your parents car? The first thing you do is commit what is equivalent to sexual assault and the chick you just accosted will think you are hot, while getting your ass beat and you think you are cool. Try it in ANY bar, see how fast you get knocked the fug out and tossed out while being called a douchebag and how every girl who ever hears of you doing that will RUN. Well, the normal ones would.

Number 3: Goes to Toyota. It’s a cute concept. Except for Kaley Cuoco. I like her, I really do. I love her character Penny. But I have to admit and say that I’m already annoyed with her being everywhere including a really lame and non-chemistry Daddy spot with William Shatner for Priceline. Kaley should really stick to sitcoms and movies. Commercials she seems to want to cheese it up and not in a good way.

Number 2: “Space Babies” in the 2014 Kia Sorento big game campaign. Was a favorite candidate that also appeared on a lot of favorites lists. Umm, yeah. This concept isn’t new. The “Where Do Babies Come From” thing has already been done and it’s been done for a car! Even the name has been done. I can’t even remember all the “Where do babies come from” commercials. I’ve seen way too many. The babies were really cute. Yes Kia, we get it. We know how babies are made.

Number 1: also appears on “best” lists and in fact, in most of them takes the number 1 spot. AARP commercial? Depends? Oh cute – We Are Young in Spanish. The concept isn’t bad really, except that you get a flash of what it was for at the end. Taco Bell and their “Live Mas” campaign. Except that song is everywhere. It was in an Apple spot. Yes, it also was on WWE. It’s also been a track on four separate TV shows. What’s worse is that it was even already used in a Superbowl commercial just LAST YEAR for Chevy. Lots of places are informally using this song and concept in local ads for senior services so I’m not even sure it’s really “groundbreaking” either.

As an aside, can we make Amy Poehler go away? Another of the “enough” spokespeople, I’m pretty sure the majority find her funny. She scares the bejebus out of me. I didn’t care for her on SNL and that whole Baby Mama movie just ruined it all together. I didn’t want to see an old lady peeing on a sink. Except Betty White. She’s so awesome, she could pee on my carpet and I’d be cleaning it up to please her. She can make anyone put the lotion on its skin and have the creepy feeling inside.

Now to the good stuff… I have to say that I couldn’t even get 10. Seriously, I have already made note of several above on why they weren’t on my best list.

Starting at Number 7 on this list is Hyundai’s second spot. Tasteful butt crack, tasteful horse butt crack, perilous movers, discreet sex, road sex, chickens, toxic acid, fireworks, missiles and DOGGIE DROOL!!! Ewwwhewhewww. Hyundai managed to get all this into one spot and cap it off with slobber with an innocent whistle. Yeah that’s Niiice. Most animal lovers everywhere will giggle and jump up and down in delight.

Number 6 stays with the same brand and its the only company to double down with Hyundai’s First Spot. Who didn’t laugh at the end? We always like to see bullies get their comeuppance. It was done well even though the bully concept is an age-old commercial theme. Hell, it’s why Betty White originally “came back” among the young crowd. We like football and we like people who get hit for whatever reason.

M&M’s gets the number 5 spot. Red sings a love song to a girl who clearly wants more than just love. Anytime you can fit that song in with a joke works. Nope, nu uh, not that. This commercial also got big nods on Twitter and Facebook.

Number 4: As a football fan of ANY team, it was easy to identify with this spot.  I laughed and laughed, and I wasn’t even aware of a punchline coming until the very end. My only comment on this was “Well played Tide, well played.” I can’t really improve on that. Simply put, it was just a damn good commercial.

Number 3: This commercial had low “younger” appeal. I never heard Mr. Harvey live – but I darn well knew who he was. I didn’t recall the voice off the top of my head but when I heard it, I sat up a little straighter and listened a little harder. God Made a Farmer was a brilliant concept. For anyone who didn’t get chills, shame on you. This made a huge buzz on social media as well which is surprising as again, it didn’t aim to go after the young crowd but for many – it still spoke to them.

Dodge downplayed their branding and preferred to let Harvey sell the commercial. In fact, I saw one Tweet that referred to someone coming back in from the kitchen to hear it. That’s just what he did to you when you listened. Awesome job Dodge.

Number 2: This could have easily been number 1.  Lots of people posted up the tears and chills they got. The music was PERFECT. The video editing was really awesome. Budweiser again outdoes themselves every year for an emotional appeal commercial. Surprisingly, this was lower on most lists if it appeared at all. I expected it to be THE number one spot… until I saw the doosey of a commercial right below…

Number 1: Perhaps all time, goes to Jeep. I literally bawled like a baby watching this commercial. As a military wife, daughter, granddaughter and a father that deploys often right now, even bringing up the URL brought tears to my eyes. Seriously. I ain’t ashamed. Jeep slam dunks this, shatters the backboard and does a back flip on the way down with a perfect 10 landing. Starting with a powerful quote that would give you chills right away, Jeep doesn’t let up by continuing with Oprah’s soulful voice filling our ears, reminding us that during this time of us celebrating a football game, there are men and women, mothers and fathers, dog owners, sons, daughters that are still fighting this very moment. It reminds us that part of our nation is missing.

Jeep minimally and seamlessly wove their brand into the commercial and said not a word about any of their vehicles. A simple graphic at the end sealed the tears. I was IRATE to know this commercial was barely remembered. I know, that’s the military supporter in me. BUT DAMN! How did this not touch more people? This has yet to be number 1 on any list I could find out already, and if it appeared – it was 8th or lower.

What were your thoughts on the commercials? What would you rank differently? What do you think belonged here that I didn’t mention? Share in the comments below…

5 comments

  1. Those are some great choices Seola. I really got grossed out by the GoDaddy commercial with the enhanced kissing sounds and tongue action. There’s no way that Danica wasn’t grossed out by that shit. If I wanted to watch cheap porn I would have just thrown a tape in LOL. Another commercial that was really lame but had high priced talent wasting time was that Samsung campaign. I love their phones especially the Galaxy note, but the commercial was too long and really stupid.

    To top it off the game was a fucking blast to watch. There were some really bad plays and calls made by the refs who didn’t pay attention which pissed me off. But what can you do… Oh well, @Beyonce did kill the show and seeing Destiny’s Child together again and hearing that their going on a reunion tour made me happy.

    Even though Beyonce threw up a Illuminati triangle sign during the middle of her show. That douche bag Mark Dice calls it the “Jay-Z Illuminati triangle” because he is a moron and doesn’t realize that Jay-Z didn’t create the pyramid symbol, he just reps it proudly. However, as seen during halftime and in her past shows and pics, Beyonce flashes her loyalty all the time. Its all good cause we know what side she plays on…

    • @Seola1 says:

      The GoDaddy thing was truly just… I don't even think there's a word for just how stupid it was. I'm betting the reason they had to zoom in is because she was barfing on the side.

      I didn't think Beyonce did that great. I think she was sort of forced into live singing – and since she was, she had to cut back on it A LOT. The first 3/4th there was very little live and it was essentially pose, pose, pose, spin, pose, pose, hair flip. The rest of DC backing vocals was not live. It sounded way out of tune compared to when they were singing live. I never confirmed but rumors were her Mama did the DC outfits and Bey's this time and some of the Getty images… really show how UN-family friendly that outfit really was. It wasn't just camel toe, the whole hoof was hanging out front to back.

      In the first 3/4th it was a shrine to herself really – all her, silhouettes of her everywhere, look at me, look at me stuff. She really killed it with Halo because she was actually singing and not paying tribute to herself posing… then she started flipping her weave around and it killed it. It looked weird and forced. I think she picked a great choice of songs, I just think the design around it and the dance moves were lame. I really wanted to see a bigger version of Single Ladies too.

  2. @Seola1 says:

    In all that, I forgot to add why the Clydesdales resonated. A couple years ago, I saw a very REAL video on a lion who was raised and released. This one brought tears to my eyes too. Christian and his owner – who says animals aren't "intelligent"?

    [youtube M6_g6nnxPdQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6_g6nnxPdQ youtube]

  3. Marie says:

    My absolute favorite was the Taco Bell Retirement Home commercial, it was the only one that made me laugh, although I did laugh a little when the girl in the bus blasted the cowboy with glitter and when the guy on the motorcycle was blowing kisses to the wife in the Hyundai (maybe I just have a twisted sense of humor?) The people who produced the stupid Go Daddy commercial said it took FIFTEEN TAKES to get that kiss and it was lame as hell! They made it sound like it was commercial of the year.

    I thought the Beyonce show was great until they brought out Kelly and Michelle, they looked like they were confused as to what they were supposed to do and their mics were turned down lower and shouldn't of been as they've announced they're making a new album, and it would of been smart to sing a new song from it…thats how I would of rolled but who am I LOL – great writing Seola!

    • @Seola1 says:

      You'd think after 15 takes, they could have gotten one where it didn't look like some poor nerd was invited to a party for spin the bottle to play a joke on the popular girl.

      I thought DC was brought out for giggles, I had no idea they were doing a reunion thing – so yeah, probably would have been a good idea for them to at least sing a verse or even a chorus as a "sneak peek".

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