Melissa Gorga is a reality television personality, singer and is known for being a controversial cast member of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She joined the show with her husband’s cousin Kathy Wakile during its third season. The popular RHONJ show on Bravo TV also features her sister-in-law Teresa Giudice with whom she’s had several unnecessary public and on screen cat fights. Currently, Teresa and her husband are having their own legal dramas and are facing some serious jail time.
Melissa is married to Giuseppe “Joe” Gorga, Teresa’s younger brother. Melissa and Joe have three beautiful children together: Antonia, Gino, and Joey. Joe Giudice, who is Teresa’s husband, also had several volatile falling outs with the Gorgas, mainly with Teresa’s brother who is Melissa’s husband. However, their trivial and sordid fuckery is not the main reason for the latest heated debacle. The major issue of debate stems from the RHONJ star’s new book called Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage which Melissa says, shows you how to love your man and keep him happy, satisfied, faithful and always devoted to you. Unfortunately, critics and readers alike disagree and are shocked with Melissa’s “hot” marriage advice…
In Love Italian Style, Melissa shares her (and Joe writes some of his misogynist thoughts on how you should treat a woman) secrets to relationship success, which she claims are generations-tested and some are old-fashioned values served up with a modern and sexy twist. Melissa also says there are four principles to a hot and happy marriage. They are respect, honesty, loyalty and passion (underscore passion). By getting personal with readers and sharing her and Joe’s married life together (from the story of their first date to how they still keep it nasty in the bedroom a decade later) Melissa admits, yes, marriage has been a lot of work, but the rewards are ten-fold.
With Melissa’s time-tested strategies, you can “Gorganize” your own relationship, strengthen your bond together and amp up the passion for lifelong bliss. Some of Melissa and her husband Joe’s BDSM style how-to’s are shocking to say the least.
Melissa’s marriage guidebook promises to make any marriage better the Gorga way! Ironically, the amount of sexism, BDSM references and submissive slave logic seen within its 256 pages is so disheartening that everyone who comes across it says that it’s really difficult to read. Most people feel that Melissa’s book is sad and also a cry for help. What makes it more appalling is the demeaning slants that Joe wrote as a special added affect to enhance the books flavor and makes most readers sick.
During a recent interview Melissa said she believes a real housewife of New Jersey should do whatever it takes to make her husband happy. She had revealed during the interview, “If you treat him like the king, he will treat you like a queen. The way I see it is you let the man be the man. I know people find that controversial.”
Melissa admits that it’s for Joe that she proudly strives to be “a lady, a cook and a puttana.” Yes readers, you heard that right. She described what a “puttana” is with a laugh, “It’s like a slut. Instead of saying whore, I put an Italian spin on it.” Also advising, “Your husband might want to be with a puttana once in a while, and you should be his.” Melissa shared more secrets saying, “I went from being a very independent girl to marrying someone who is, in many ways, an old-fashioned Italian guy. It was a struggle in the beginning.” We can see why she had a hard time. From we understand she’s still under hardcore dominance from her husband.
Three years into their marriage, Melissa says she realized Joe wasn’t going to change his wicked ways and so she decided she would. That’s when she became a woman of Joe’s dreams and would be the one who “caters” to her man, no questions asked, “Men are easy…Make it so he wants to come home and find comfort.”
According to Jezebel, we get a deeper look into their disturbing marriage seemingly full of control and inequality. Joe appears to enjoy restricting Melissa’s individualism and her independence as a woman. He spends lots of time adding his own opinions on how women should treat their men or “kings”. Joe’s thoughts on how women should be handled sexually are the most mind numbing passages seen with in Melissa’s book.
He writes, “Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated. Women don’t realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.” Oh really, so he and his wife are advocating marital rape in their marriage?
Marital rape, also known as spousal rape, is non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim’s spouse. It’s a form of partner rape, domestic violence, and sexual abuse. It can be equally, if not more, emotionally and physically damaging than rape by a stranger. Just because your married doesn’t mean that it isn’t rape. Regardless of what you think, NO means NO. Sadly, Melissa doesn’t seem to agree that she is being taken advantage of and writes, “In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times… If I didn’t give it to him once a day, he’d get upset.” She adds, “I can do something that pisses him off on a Monday, but if we had sex on Sunday night, it blows over more easily. But if we haven’t done it for two days and I give him attitude? It could be a huge fight.” That is sad. She is a sex slave and doesn’t even realize it.
This is where it gets mind numbing, Melissa says “Even when I’m exhausted and not really in the mood, if it means a lot to Joe that we connect physically, I’ll say, “I’m not so into it tonight, but let’s go.” Even adding, “If it’s a hard “no,” I try to be nice about it. Don’t swat him away, or say with a tone, “Leave me alone!” Eventually he will leave you alone at more than you wish he would.”
Sexual slavery is particular form of enslavement which includes limitations on one’s autonomy, freedom of movement and power to decide matters relating to one’s sexual activity. The crime includes forced marriages, domestic servitude or other forced labor that ultimately involves forced sexual activity. In contrast to the crime of rape, which is a completed offense, sexual slavery constitutes a continuing offense.
Joe’s thoughts on childcare are of no surprise to me at this point, he admits “I don’t feed babies, or change the diapers. My father never wiped my ass, and I don’t wipe my babies’ either.” What a “real man” he is, he’s shown us. Umm, did Joe learn his abusive behavior from his father? There are several instances in the book where Melissa recalls Joe’s violent outbursts, not to call him out on it because she knows he is reading everything she writes about him. Melissa explains to the world how she has learned to modify her own behavior because of Joe’s temper. She says once Joe broke the baby’s highchair and another time she says he freaked out and threw a chair in the middle of a restaurant. Would it surprise anyone if he’s smacked his wife around already and she hasn’t said anything? Jan DeDolce, Melissa’s former friend, recently gave an interesting interview saying Joe has done that very thing.
What do you think about Melissa’s book? What about what Joe has said and the way he treats his wife. Would you buy this book? Share your thoughts and comments…